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| Joke Author | vicado |
| Date | 2008-10-17 5:26:00 am |
| Category | Nigerian |
| Views | 302 |
| Users Rating | |
| Joke | Dear God, thank you for inviting me to your golden palace. I love it here already. I wish I- could stay forever. Maybe, I can get a contract to build one of the streets of gold for you. You- are welcome my son. Don't get used to this place. You are only here for a chat. Now, what can I do- for you? Yes, dear Almighty, I've a burning question on my mind. What is it, my dear- son? Why did you create the Nigerian? Oh my son, that is a very good question that I, God- Himself, cannot answer. I'm not sure myself. Many people have asked me that question. Many- people? Yes. Who are these people? Foreigners who have died in Nigeria lured there by 419- scam artists. Most of them have asked why I created the Nigerian because they believe that you- people are all corrupt. Why do you say that? You see, my son. There is a joke going around in- heaven. A joke? Yes, my son, a joke about you people, Nigerians. What is the- joke? Remember the song you used to sing when you were in primary and secondary school? What- song, my father? The song about "All things bright and beautiful..." Yes, my God, I- remember the song very well. But what I don't understand is that how is that a joke? Listen my- son, this is the joke and I will sing the song for you. Yes, please go ahead, heavenly- father. Listen carefully; All things bright and beautiful All creatures great and small. All- things wise and wonderful And Nigerians ruined them all. Oh, that was funny. You mean we- Nigerians ruined your creation? Yes, you people are very corrupt to the point that I'm thinking- about finishing all your corrupt leaders as I did with Abacha. That would be very nice, my God.- Our leaders have finished us. I think most common Nigerians would welcome that. These our leaders- are all corrupt. Look at what they did to Marshal Harry because of politics. Yes, I knew of that- even before it happened. Who did it, my God? I cannot tell you now, on judgement day, I will- make them pay for their crimes. Ok, my God, another question. Yes, go ahead, my son. Who- killed Dele Giwa? Ha, my son, you are very curious. Yes God, every good journalist should be- curious. You know the killer of Giwa. Who is that? That is all I can say for now. On- judgement day, I shall make sure that the murderer of Giwa also pays for his crimes. My God,- please tell me, is there a special place for the Nigerian in hell? Yes, it's called Hell-Gate.- That is the Nigerian ghetto in hell. There are a lot of you people there already causing trouble for- me and the angels. Even Satan is complaining about you people. You already have a bad reputation in- hell. What kind of trouble? You people are sending emails to people on earth from hell telling- them that you have millions of brimstones that you want to transfer to earth and asking them to send- you money for the transfer. You people took out all the furnace and installed air conditioners- everywhere. I also found out that you people installed big speakers and music systems and are having- your "owambe" parties in your flowing agbada which I confess has kept the grounds of hell- clean. Is that so? Yes, my son. Also, some of your senators here are trying to impeach- Satan. They have bribed all the demons to vote against him in a special impeachment session. Why- will they want to impeach Satan? As you know, Satan controls everyone and everything in hell and- you Nigerians always want power so you can embezzle. But what can they embezzle in hell? The- firewood and the gasoline that fuels the fire so they can sell it on the black market in hell. So- hell has a black market? Yes, and it is run by you people, Nigerians. Oh, that is very funny,- my God. I'm glad you found it funny. But, dear father, Nigeria has improved from being the- most corrupt country to be the second most corrupt country behind Pakistan. You have got to give us- some credit. Well, my son, if I were you, I would not say that loud. Why? Didn't you- Nigerians bribe the Pakistanis to take the first place on the list? Father, I've another burning- question on my mind. What is that? Please tell me, will an Igbo man ever be an elected- president of Nigeria? Yes, my son, but not until after the year 2020. Very well. Will an Ijaw- man from the Niger Delta ever become an elected president of Nigeria? Yes, my son, but not in- your lifetime. Hmmm. One more question my God. Go ahead, ask. When will our National- Assembly members stop their corrupt ways and pass a meaningful bill that would actually improve the- lives of Nigerians? My son, that is a very tough question. I must consult with the angels on this- one. Please give me a few minutes. Please, take all the time, my dear God. My son, I've an- answer for you. What is it, dear Holy one? Not ever! |